Fatherhood--A gift to Pass
On
Scriptures: Luke 15:11-24
by Jim Westmoreland
Intro.- Have you ever felt completely loved, even when you knew you
didn't deserve it?
- Maybe you've known some prodigals and the pain they have caused their family .
. .
- Maybe we've been the prodigal--out physically, mentally, emotionally or
spiritually, doing our own thing.
- Imagine the feelings of the prodigal son as he turned on the road to go face
his father--
- --as his father ran to meet him
- Fear--What will he say?
- Guilt--Father, I've disappointed you so much. I can't believe I've been such a
stubborn fool.
- Hope--Maybe, he can still care some for me.
- As his father hugged and kissed him, . . .
- The dam that had held his feelings back finally broke loose;
- He felt a flood of remorse-- "Father, I have sinned . . . I'm not worthy
to be called your son."
- Tears of pent-up emotion and of past due release flowed freely
- Yes, he was guilty
- He had dreaded the meeting for a long time
- To be hugged and kissed was more than he deserved
- As his father affirmed him and called him a son and ordered his servants to
bring the robe, the ring, the sandals and the fatted calf, his head must have been
spinning as he thought . . .
- It's not really true. This must be a dream!
- Now, I understand the kind of man my father is . . .
- Now, I understand what it means to be his son . . .
- The word "prodigal" actually has two similar, but opposite meanings.
- We've come to use the first meaning in reference to this son, who was
wasteful, a spendthrift, not moderate in the things he gave himself, reckless. That's why
this story is called the Prodigal Son.
- But we could also call it the story of the Prodigal Father, or the Father's
Prodigal Love, because the second meaning is generous, bountiful, liberal, abundant, rich,
plentiful. And, that's how the father had loved -- this son and the older son!
- There are many gifts of love that we can't pay back -- we can only pass them
on!
- This morning, how will we think about our fathers?
- And, we can ask ourselves, . . . . . What will we
pass on ?
- Fathers come in a variety of "models"
- Different sizes: short, tall, heavy, light
- Different occupations
- Farmers, merchants, suppliers of things to others
- Teachers, preachers, doctors, lawyers
- "Makers", they make/manufacture things
- "Fixers" fix what I break. They work on other people's
"thing-a-ma-jigs"!
- There are just lot's of things daddy's do!
- And they have different personalities to --
- Quiet or talkative
- Loud or soft spoken
- Legalistic, quick to judge, or willing to listen
- Harsh or forgiving
- Warm or cold
- The kind that you feel tense when he is around, or
your feel good when he is around.
- A father gives his children something special -- what is it?
- There are several kinds of father relationships.
- Biological
- Psychological-emotional
- Spiritual
- Hopefully, we have experienced all of these.
- Ideally, our biological father has also been an emotional father to us and a
spiritual father.
- Some men can't really be close, because
- they lacked closeness and touching in their childhood, or
- they lack trust in life, or
- they lack forgiveness and acceptance, or
- they lack self-love that keeps them isolated and keeps them from giving
- Some men define being a "father" in inadequate ways.
- biological only
- "provider"--home food, ... things
- an enormous trust fund could do just as well!
- In the 1970's there was a song, "The Cat's in the Cradle." A father
was always busy working on doing "important" things. He watches his son grow up,
go to college, get a job, get married. Now, he wants to spend time with his son. Only now,
the son is busy doing "important things," and the father sadly realizes he
missed a whole childhood of spending "important time" with his son. And the
refrain of the song laments, "I grew up just like you, dad. I grew up ..., just like
you." -- Being a provider is not enough.
- boss -- claiming personal power because of biology
or a "chain of command" and demonstrating power
through the bonds of personal relationship are different!
- Some men desire and work at growing as a Father
- In Charlie Shedd's book, Smart Dad's I Know, he has a chapter
on "work-aholic" dad's. One father wrote Shedd for help and Shedd told him about
Emmett. "Emmett travels 4days/wk and is home on weekends and is one of the best
fathers I know." He plans his weekend carefully. He give each of his
children one hour alone with him to visit, play catch, watch one of their TV
shows, etc He and his wife have a standing date on Saturday nights to go to dinner. --
Emmett's wife and kids says they get more attention in one weekend than their friends get
all week! -- We need to be careful to not just be in the same room, but to be with
our family when we are there.
- In the Wall Street Journal in June, 2000, there was a story of a top executive
in the investment-merger business who had been given the number two management position in
a merger in his own company. The story was that he was giving up the #2 management job to
just focus on merger deals. He was making a personal decision to cut back to start making
family his priority. He said that when his son graduated from HS he realized that he had
never met one of his teachers or watched him play baseball.
- I know that my song-memory is very dated, but there was another song that
said, "knock 3 times on the ceiling if you love me." Well, a small town doctor
told his boys to "knock 3 times on the back door." He let them know that their
lives were very important to him, too. He said he made a deal with them, "Listen any
time you need me for anything important, you come and rap 3 times on the back door of my
office. I'll be there as fast as I can make it."
- Listen to the words of a grown daughter, writing about her father, who raised
her alone. "When I started school, my father gave me $.10 and when he gave it to me,
he said, 'Patty, I want you to always keep this dime in your purse. Any time you need me,
you call me at the plant. Tell them you want to talk to your dad, and I guarantee they'll
let you right through.' There is no way I could tell you what that dime from my father
meant to me. Even when I didn't need him, just to know I had it in my purse made me feel
secure."
- A dime give for the right reason meant, "You are important. You
are worth interrupting me. Or, given for the wrong reason, it might say,
"go get lost," or "get off my back."
- God gives others to act as fathers who are not biological father.
- Many of us have been touched by different people in special ways
- SS teachers, a preacher
- teacher, neighbor, scout leader, professor
- Besides my father, key men for me were
- Jack Langston, an RA leader--golf
- Jim Hurley and BA Sizemore taught me about friendship and caring. Their fields
were biochemistry and OT and Hebrew--definitely not bright spots for me. They were willing
to care about me as a person, not as a student.
- Jim Hatley, pastor, friend and spiritual father in the ministry taught me
about being a real person by being a real person. Words like love, com-passion,
forgiveness, understanding patience and vision are words that I associate with him.
- Let this Father's Day be a special time . . .
- For Fathers to commit themselves to being a
father
- To give children identity
- To give children security
- To be a father who will open his arms and heart to his children and wife
- Sometimes, we have grown distant or cool and have taken our fathers
for granted. Let this be a time for us to celebrate and affirm
our fathers
- Let us become "prodigals in the way the father was in
Luke 15
- Let us "kill the fatted calf" of celebration and
affirmation
- Let us give him our warmth and affirm his
identity as our Father
- Let us embrace and build the bridges of
closeness
- Remember, "some things can't be payed back -- they can only be passed
on." What kind of person am I becoming?
- Conclusion
- God calls Fathers to be Fathers.
- God calls children to love their fathers.
- God loves us as our heavenly Father, and we are to pass
on His love and forgiveness to others!
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